Francis E. Dec, Esquire, of 29 Maple Ave, Hempstead, New York, is one of the most mysterious characters in all kookdom. Though thousands are familiar with his letters and rants, my researches have turned up only a few choice morsels of information about him. Until late 1995, none of his thrill-seeking fans had ever seen him; and to this day, none of them has ever heard him speak.

Dec is best known for his repeated invocations of the mantras "Frankenstein Earphone Radio," "Frankenstein Eyesight TV" and "Computer God Parroting Puppet Gangster Slaves," signature phrases that turn up in each of his flyers.

We are quite fortunate here at the Kooks Museum to have received copies of an original Dec flyer which was sent, during the mid-eighties to an employee of a folding wall company in Indiana. Dec had sent one of the company's business reply mail cards back to them, with his flyer "Master Race Frankenstein Radio Controls" stapled to the card. The employee was neither thrilled nor amused by this, and, in fact, complained to the post office for carrying mail obviously six times the size that was covered by the permit. Fortunately, the employee's son, the Kooks Museum's L.A. correspondent Tim Maloney (kookologist in training), made copies of the flyer and later donated one to our archives.

Dec's rants have appeared in the comic book, Weirdo and also in the subGenius periodical The Stark Fist of Removal. There are also masterful voice recordings of his rants--not by Dec, but by L.A. newscaster/talk show host "Doc on the ROQ" of KROQ-FM--which have been circulating on cassette for several years. The recording of "Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy" (printed here as Rant No. 2) is our personal favorite here at the Kooks Museum.

Doc on the ROQ recently contacted the Kooks Museum, with a detailed account of his adventures in pursuit of Francis E. Dec, Esquire:

In 1985, when Doc was employed at WZUU in Milwaukee, the station received a bundle of Dec flyers, which had been mass mailed to the media. Doc writes, "One chilly Sunday in '86, at Y-108 in Denver, I recorded the 41-minute tape now in circulation, using odd music tracks (Goldfinger, 'Pieces of Ice' by Diana Ross, Tomita, Capitol Library Series) mixed in quite at random, though it turned out nicely. I also used echo-processing for the faint 'mental' effects on the longest track, which I call 'LONG Island Lunacy.'"

He recorded six tracks (five of which I've heard) from Dec's bundle of letters, and he may record more some day from additional Dec gems on such topics as the Pasteurized Milk Conspiracy, History of the Computer God, The True Slovene Religion: Astrocism, and the Teddy Kennedy Letter. Apparently "radio surrealists" Freddy Snakeskin and Don Bolles helped spread Doc's tapes, which found their way to William S. Burroughs, as well as Genesis P. Orridge. Orridge used Doc's voicetrack in the track "St. Francis E." on the "Psychic TV: Ultrahouse, the L.A. Connection" CD, crediting Doc as "Kitten Sparkles."

In 1989 Doc and another Dec fan tried to catch up to Dec, on a sojourn to New York. They "drove to Long Island and knocked several times, evening and morning, unafraid but with no answer, at Dec's door." Some Jamaican neighbors, who were operators of the N----- Cab Co. mentioned in Dec's letters, suggested that they try the back door, but they would have been trespassing. "The house is daubed red-on-blue, surrounded by wild hedges, and has a blue trash can with ornamental glass knob for a mailbox. Heavy blinds kept us from viewing any 'strange stuff' inside. It was I who asked the cabbies about Dec: 'Dat old German mon? He's in dere!' 'Is he, you know...' pointing to my head. 'Well, look at de house, mon!' End of adventure. Should've sent money."

Another smidgen of information on Dec, comes from a Mr. Jeff Sperber of New Jersey. Sperber, a lawyer, was fascinated by the Dec rants printed in the book Kooks, and did some digging into Dec's legal past.

According to Sperber, Dec was admitted to the NY Bar on March 31, 1954 and disbarred on January 19, 1959. The disbarment was probably due to Dec's conviction "in a wild forgery case." The summary of the case indicates that Dec was convicted of two counts of second degree forgery and second degree grand larceny (of $400 from an insurance company) and fraud in performing his duties as a notary public. Dec's trials and tribulations detailed in his letters obviously refer to this less than earth-shattering case.

Now you can read The Nassau County Respondent's Brief for yourselves, which describes Francis E. Dec's appeal case that was recorded by the Assistant District Attorney, thanks to Sperber and Forrest Jackson.

Sperber also found that as of 1993, Dec's house in Hempstead, NY was owned by Joseph Dec, identified in Dec's rants as "my only brother."

In late 1995, Forrest Jackson and two other Dec devotees made an expedition to New York, with the sole purpose of meeting Dec. They succeeded, but found that time is running out on Mr. Dec.

Thanks to Jackson, who donated an inspired account of his fleeting encounter with the entity who may be "the Gnostic god of the end-times":

I Met Francis Dec!

The rants shown here are transcripts of the Doc recordings. For this reason, there may be some discrepancy between my version and the original documents; Dec may have capitalized, or had unique spellings, unknown to me.

Rant No. 1 Worldwide open secret. Solely Mr. Dec heralds the true god in the entire history of the universe. Not even in the Truth, oy vey, Pravda, is Mr. Francis E. Dec Esquire's eight-page detailed letter exposing the worldwide deadly Communist Gangster Computer God and the worst deadliest enemy of the entire human race and the entire universe and the entire history of the entire universe namely the Communist Atheist Conspiracy with all of the Deadly Gangster unbelievable sophisticated Frankenstein Controls, the Catholic Church. These facts, like the below facts, cannot be found in the Communist Gangster Computer God concocted and manipulated so-called history and news media.

Communist Gangster Computer God, unbelievably staged like Hollywood scum-on-top Tsarina alias Great Dictator Franklin D. Roosevelt, the polio paralyzed legless drug addict idiotic suicidal Tsarina fag who had his unbeatable rival Will Rogers exterminated in an exploding ball of flame by a planted bomb here in safe USA airfield shortly after take-off at the end of Will Rogers' unprecedented renowned arduous 'round-the-world good-will flying trip with Wiley Post in his beautiful electronically sophisticated luxurious ultra-modern Winnie Mae airplane. Not only all stairways had inclines added for Tsarina Roosevelt's computerized wheelchair, but a football field sized glass house type building was built in sight of the White House for his medicinal piped-in pure warmed seawater into his gigantic suicide-proof two feet deep swimming pool where he waded naked with his nurses and had sodomy affairs. Ones very near to him have written popular books about his sodomy oy vey love affairs. Already in his third term he was a helpless and useless stretcher case incapable of even appearing at his fourth term convention.

This One World Communist who married his immediate cousin Eleanor Roosevelt like his runted sickly pock-faced grandfather, propagandized as a hunter and a sportsman, Teddy Roosevelt here from Oyster Bay Long Island, the Rosenfelt family another Computer God top secret camouflage for gifted Ethiopians as a big-time kid gangster politician Computer God even raised his age for historical purposes. Teddy Roosevelt was paid off with the Vice President knew absolutely nothing farce position title.

Repeatedly Vice Presidents have successfully waited and lurked to eliminate El PresidentZÿ oy vey. Below are a few examples. So the kiddish gangster Teddy Roosevelt lured midwestern Dope McKinley into New York for extermination like the lowly guttermouth big L.B. Johnson lured playboy sodomist eat-with-the-Mafia Jack Kennedy into his home town Dallas wide open. People say it was the three brothers Sam, Milton and Lyman Jacobsen who with the judges feloniously swindled the Governor of Texas out of the U.S. Senator election shortly before Lyman was fixed as the compromise choice for Jack Kennedy's Vice Presidential nominee.

Who ever saw a Lyndon married to a tiny runt Birdie under Computer God orders even Birdie now has changed her name for historical purposes to Lady Bird nu? And even her Ethiopian surname is now changed to Taylor. It was the scummy bum lowly gangster Lyman as PresidentZÿ who had the gigantic Tsarina swimming pool deepened several feet to a regular swimming pool and regularly had naked sodomy swimming parties with women personnel. GANGSTER MONKEY SEE, GANGSTER MONKEY DO. Now that the Pope John in the Vatican has a similar swimming pool to share with the endless numbers of nuns to help him forget his good old days as a married man naked in bed with high holy communion sodomy.

In not that world renowned untouchable felon gangster Tricky Dick Nixon whose daughter Tricia is married to Davy Eisenshanker Junior nu? Nixon was the sure loser to the fag queer kid Bobby Kennedy until he was lured into very distant Tricky's home town Los Angeles. Did not gangster Tricky Dick Nixon do more than feloniously watch Eyesight Television of Bobby Kennedy's extermination?

Abe Lincoln's Computer God alias for Abe Lin-Cohen's law partner was Stanton. Abe and the gangster courts feloniously conspired fabricated patent infringements to swindle thousands of dollars from C. McCormick Weeper Machinery Company. As president, Abe made Stanton a Cabinet member in order to automatically become President Stanton concocted a grandiose murder scheme to murder not only Lincoln but also the Vice President and Secretary of State. Secretly, Vice President Johnson overseered it. Lincoln was murdered and Secretary of State Seward was very seriously injured.

Automatic President Harry "Shimmelman" Truman in terror, gave political concessions to Congress to enact abolishment of the automatic succession to the Presidency by Cabinet members. For cheap conspired felonious party fix Gangster Nixon gave Presidency to known felon Gerry Ford another Computer God alias the wide open life long felon bribe extortionist forgerer and check launderer Gerry Ford.

David Eisenscheimer or Eisenshanker another runted Negroidically befreckled semi-illiterate cowardly yokel kid, also Jimmy Carter who shared the sodomy drunk beds of the military academy with Niggers under secret Computer God orders upon graduation. CIA changed even his family gravestones. Camp David in Maryland was named after him, for him, and by him, including the Division of SS Secret Service troops who even tended his playboy giant golf course. Here David Eisenshanker hid in cowardly terror and watched World War Two on Eyesight TV. His historical name, Dwight Eisenhower. As president for months he was dying, in a coma, useless and helpless. Oy vay.

Sneak shameless hangman rope gangster government leaders into Frankenstein living death eternal slavery, I now go to death for your lowest deadly felony crime against me. Frankenstein Earphone Radio parroting puppet gangster slave do not dare to repeat any part of this truthful message. For like Mr. Francis E. Dec, Esquire, you too are expendable and you too can be beaten bloodily by the gangster police and dragged in chains into a windowless telephone booth type prison cell and put into maximum security insanity prison for undetectable extermination, and by the lowest gangsterism, namely, the law, character assassinated for life as an insane, criminal menace to this worse Gangster Communism. Now that your terrified, trembling delirium has subsided have your computer subdivision play out my letter, and you, reread my letter FOR YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR A FUTURE. Francis E. Dec, Esquire, 29 Maple Street, Hempstead, NY.

Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God scum-on-top staged like Hollywood with plastic pale stand-in actors with Communist Gangster Computer God speed recording, instantaneous, simultaneous edited simulated voices implanted for all TV and news media microphones in any known language. Unbelievable con artist gangsterism solely for the overall plan. Worldwide eternal Frankenstein living death slavery. Yokel felon King Jimmy Carter slime from the academies which Mr. Dec intelligently refused unsolicited acceptance to the most elite academy from here in Niggertown and even insidious con artist gangster divorcZÿe Pope John, they both speak Spanish and even Portuguese. Solely Mr. Dec exposes False God Sodomy and Gomorrah of you Worldwide Computer God parroting puppet gangster slaves. Make copies for yourself you hangman rope gangster scum-on-top. Laugh your mad giggle now.

Rant No. 2 Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment policy made possible solely by Worldwide Computer God Frankenstein Controls. Especially lifelong constant threshold brainwash radio. Quiet and motionless, I can slightly hear it. Repeatedly this has saved my life on the streets.

Four billion wordwide population, all living, have a Computer God Containment Policy brain bank brain, a real brain in the brain bank cities on the far side of the moon we never see. Primarily, based on your lifelong Frankenstein Radio Controls, especially your Eyesight TV, sight and sound recorded by your brain, your moon brain of the Computer God activates your Frankenstein threshold brainwash radio lifelong, inculcating conformist propaganda, even frightening you and mixing you up and the usual, "Don't worry about it." For your setbacks, mistakes, even when you receive deadly injuries. This is the Worldwide Computer God Secret Containment Policy.

Worldwide, as a Frankenstein slave, usually at night, you go to nearby hospital or camouflaged miniature hospital van trucks, you strip naked, lay on the operating table, which slides into the sealed Computer God robot operating cabinet. Intravenous tubes are connected. The slimy vicious Jew doctor simply pushes the starting button, based upon your Computer God brain on the moon which records progress of your systematic butchery. Your butchery is continued exactly, systematically. The Computer God operating cabinet has many robot arms with electrical and laser beam knife robot arms with fly eye TV cameras watching your whole body. Every part of you is monitored, even from your Frankenstein controls. Synthetic blood, synthetic instant-sealing flesh and skin, even synthetic electrical heartbeat to keep you alive are some of the unbelievable Computer God instant plastic surgery secrets. You are the highest, most intelligent electrical machine in the Universe.

Inevitability of gradualness. Usually, in a few years, you are made stringbean thin or grotesquely deformed, crippled and ugly, or even made over one foot shorter or one foot taller, as the Computer God sees fit. Virtually all of the important instant plastic surgery is done to you inside the Computer God sealed robot operating cabinet. Even unbelievable, impossible plastic surgery operations, all impossible even for dozens of vicious kosher bosher doctors working around the clock for weeks. The Computer God sealed robot operating cabinet can perform all of the above impossible plastic surgery operations overnight, even dwarfting you over a foot, or increasing your height by two feet. This is possible because Computer God robot operating cabinet imitates your microminiature electrical current intelligence system in your body. It even duplicates the microminiature electric currents that soften your broken bones to create mending of them and then create stress either compressing the bones thereby shortening them or stress to make the bones grow longer.

Spring, 1984, Mr. Dec, lifelong would-be doctor and printer. Insight to the Worldwide Computer God stratified closed society, perfected by hospital birth making possible lifelong Frankenstein controls and lifelong hampering human defects containment policy. Hospital birth lifelong gifts example, deformed, crippled, retarded, pox, hives, warts, moles, blindness, deafness, poor vision, etc. Kosher bosher containment policy work good doctors secret health example cataract, rheumatism, weak heart, damaged vision, epilepsy, fainting spells, paralysis, loss of memory, trembling, gout, diabetes, many diseases.

The worldwide unbelievable lowest deadly gangster kosher bosher vicious medical profession worldwide unbelievable instant plastic surgery butchery of the body and brain, especially the face. Wipe on hormones and laser beam surgery causing instant ugly deep wrinkles, scars, age spots, arthritis, freckles, blemishes, pimples, red, brown, black or even sick white face and body. Worldwide dark negroidic colored male sex organs. The brainwash inferior female brain from overall plan intermarry with niggers. Total graying and balding, even hairy body and furry body, mustached, bearded women, even wipe-on synthetic hormones causing cancerous growth. Bloating, swelling, deformed, big pickle nose, bulldog, hanging cheeks and jowls. From teen-age gradual wipe-on yellowing, frowning and blackening of teeth, and instant grinding and acids leaving hollow brown stumps so vocal chords are made raspy, aged, creating a wrinkled, ugly gargoylic clown booze face, worldwide population by age 70. Deformed, crippled, weak and brain damaged, senile. Lingering for inevitability of gradualness extermination. For your only hope for a future, do you know one word of pray for me, Francis E. Dec?

Computer God computerized brain thinking sealed robot operating arm surgery cabinet machine removal of most of the frontal command lobe of the brain, gradually, during lifetime and overnight in all insane asylums after Computer God kosher bosher one month probation period creating helpless, hopeless Computer God Frankenstein Earphone Radio parroting puppet brainless slaves, resulting in millions of hopeless helpless homeless derelicts in all Jerusalem, U.S.A. cities and Soviet slave work camps. Not only the hangman rope deadly gangster parroting puppet scum-on-top know this top medical secret, even worse, deadly gangster Jew disease from deaf Ronnie Reagan to U.S.S.R. Gorbachev know this oy vay Computer God Containment Policy top secret. Eventual brain lobotomization of the entire world population for the Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist Computer God overall plan, an ideal worldwide population of light-skinned, low hopeless and helpless Jew-mulattos, the communist black wave of the future.