CCCXXIV

It is hard to understand because it is worse than a vale of tears it is a terrible jungle full of wild beasts and venomous serpents which seek to devour you. In terror of these hapless man vainly seeks a way of escape but he loses his way and falls into a pit the mouth of which is covered over with creepers. These fasten themselves round his limbs and he is left suspended head downward in the pit. But this is only the beginning of his troubles for when his gaze is turned to the bottom of the pit he sees a gigantic serpent patiently waiting for his fall while at the mouth of the pit stands a huge elephant ready to trample him to death should he rise again. But by good chance there grew on the edge of the pit a tree on which there was a honeycomb and this honeycomb although it too attracted stinging insects dripped sweet honey which if he were lucky he could catch as it fell. This afforded him much comfort and diverted him from the terror of the pit. But his comfort was short-lived for he saw that the roots of the tree were being nibbled away by mice white and black the days and nights of all-consuming Time. And he saw that the tree must inevitably come crashing down and carry him off with it into the bottom of the pit where the mighty serpent lay eager to devour, so this show starts off with Steve "Overt Penis Boy" driving down to Palm Springs -- a town even more pointless and useless than Beverly Hills -- to be at the "Alpha Weekend" which is supposed to be a retreat for all of the frat and sorority people that populate the TV show. And in typical frat boy style Steve keeps "scoping out the babes" and saying szha which is about as close to a vocalized boner as I can imagine. And unlike in say New York City -- where you might if you were a reasonably well-off person with a penchant for showing off how much money you have stay at the Plaza or the St. Regis or the Waldorf Astoria -- Steve instead pulls up to the Palm Springs Marriott. And instead of golf carts they drive around in little Yugos and Steve almost runs down his father who used to be on the show Santa Barbara. And Steve gets mad that his father has arranged his "social calendar" because there is so much "eyeball candy" from their "hacienda" and Steve's dad says "Welcome to Casa KEG." Next thing you know that stereotypical-Chet-character-from-the-Hardy-Boys chubby guy the loser who thinks if he provides the alcohol then everyone will like him shows up and he has gone to the trouble of attaching labels to the beer to make it look like soda;