XLVI

He asked me if I copyrighted my work. "No" I replied. "Not if the matter is in my hands." "Why is that?" he asked. "Because none of it is mine to start with. I steal it from everywhere", he then fulminates his loudest censures against the monkish barbarity of rhyme -- wonders how beings that pretend to reason can be pleased with one line always ending like another, I AM AN IDIOT I'm not an idiot I'm not an idiot I'm not a fucking stooge -- so stop talking to me about guns and bombs and stop trying to sell me on class warfare, I sleep with only one eye closed very profoundly. My bed is round with a hole in it for my head to go through. Every hour a servant takes my temperature and gives me another, I stood next to Charles and thought about my relationship to the artworld and how it has had to change in the past year. I thought how I couldn't stay in the gallery system any more, I want to be an asshole. If I were the world's biggest jerk if I treated everyone around me like they were beneath me then maybe -- just maybe -- women would beat a path to my door, I'll forgive you for a few minutes of boredom because most of us brush our teeth and even though we won't readily admit it we need to masturbate occasionally here and there, in a society that is increasingly oriented toward the visual the stuff most of us have in aural memory are pop songs and commercial jingles you're over, read in a dingy hotel room Southern India: Nov 5 1994 Former President Ronald Reagan has been diagnosed to be suffering from Alzheimer's, sometime in the 19^th century when a man named Ong threw his hat up in the air landed it in a tree and was unable to retrieve it thinking it vanished into another, start looking for the swine of your dreams -- they're not hard to spot. Go to a sports bar drop your purse on the floor and as you bend to retrieve it if you hear "Hey honey while you're down there heh heh heh", Thomas Mann banned from the Third Reich for his essay "The Suffering and Greatness of Richard Wagner" with its references to the psychoanalytic insights in Wagner's operas, we have attained some sort of freedom. It's scary and we are unsure of where we are and where we are not. We have been raised to believe in materialism and all that it stands for, what happened? We began to fear and believe in those exact things that we hated -- we gave power to those things that we used to laugh at. And suddenly they weren't so funny anymore, when asked to read from this work I agreed. When asked how I chose what section to read I said "It doesn't really matter. Every section is the same. No section is better than another", Who'd you rather invite over for dinner Hitler or Stalin? Me? I'd invite Kurt Cobian. He bored 30 million people to death. So he clearly edges out both Stalin and Hitler, Why do those hockey-puck urinal cakes have to look like yummy donuts whenever I am drunk? Why can't they make them look less appetizing such as olive loaf or anchovy pizza?;