XXI

A connection with the past is no different from a connection with the future, a dog returns to his own vomit and a sow after washing returns to the mire, a dream will come true if it happens to be about bestiality or blenders, a language that was banned in the 1300's has become fashionable once more, a tremendously funny and convoluted novel I've read over and over, a turnpiker who is by turns a pikebailer no seldomer than an earwigger, african head charge agnes morehead arrowhead automatic head detonator, all heady questions again philosophical which I leave for the heads of others, All sages end up in paradise. It is good to die as a martyr for Allah, Allen Ginsberg wore khakis (and he still does). Only one autograph per customer, and all day she'd wriggle and giggle and jiggle as though seven devils possessed her, And if you don't quit jerking off your elbow's never going to get any better!, and we lost our ability to question and our minds became small and full of fear, and when he could not see it he kept his eye on the spot where he thought it would appear, any good beach is filled with men and women cavorting about in skimpish attire, as long as we follow it through and do it with discipline we can do whatever, ASAP? But how? Weaving? No. Transplant? Not for him. A hairpiece? Never never, Ask yourself can you bop to a backward line "torturing crews/like Jews in gas chambers?", aussie tas pappas pays tribute to the vert gods with a nollie heal flip indy star, besides poverty I've always enjoyed handing a stack of coupons to a cashier, blood in the saliva will not break the fast if the blood is less than the saliva, bury a cat in the ground up to its neck and run it over with a lawnmower, but for once I think I see eye to eye with these doctor-murdering women haters, but no don't have the women dance naked on the casket 'cause my children will be there, but she's holding up better than I am and I am young enough to be her daughter, But what of the short phrases in the beginning? Do they become a sort of a mantra?, cancer of the prostate typically strikes guys my father's age down in Florida, capitalized like the Universe or the Bed or the Radio/Cassette Player, cat AIDS and I wonder if she's going to give it to me via her saliva, Cheryl's been away only three weeks and the bathroom continues to get dirtier, Confucius say he that go to bed with itchy asshole wake up with smelly finger, consciously or unconsciously: whatever way one falls into the trough of nectar, Deconstructing the Guardians of Nostalgia: A Defense of the "Young Writer", Deja Fu: the feeling that somehow somewhere you've been kicked in the head like this before, desire is here to impel us to the "supreme effort" to abandon all desire, Dianetics: a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire, Did we consume a poisonous mushroom or did the chicken give us salmonella?, Do you have a power/god complex? Or is the Prozac finally taking over?, either periodically or irregularly to some height into the air, embroiled in an unfortunate period in our history eating granola, epsilon phase has a tiny moment with some baby-voiced ethereal whispers, Esau the elder traded his rights to inherit the possessions of his father, every time an insurmountable hurdle is sighted someone finds a way over, feeling sexy earthy and ripe I lay in the vineyard and contemplated nature, flashes of women who have really had the piss whaled out of them by Bud-crazed workers, for the same reason: spite at and sheer boredom with the mainstream formats being offered, for three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper, forever rigging the wires with the finest in juicy visualizaria, Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it turn it off when you are, get the box (Clairol Ultra Blue) and skip the $30 + salon fee for sure, got fired from my AutoCad job today -- really they must not have liked me too much there, Guy 3: Fine! Burn in hell! Guy 1: What hell? Guy 2: Yeah. You invented it. You go there, Have you been having weird dreams lately? Or is it just me dreaming it up? (I wonder...), Have you ever removed the tag that says "do not remove under penalty of law"?, he is trying to persuade us to view his facial landscape in a certain manner, he's definitely got his own style that has been molded from studying those masters, here I sit in shitty vapor but alas the one before me used all the paper, hit a wall and splattered into a plethora (10 points!) of dissected descriptors, "Honey! You spend more time with that COMPUTER than you do with me!" "What did you say dear?", how I am evolving from a visual artist into a committed writer, Hurrah and huzzah for the spork. (Not a foon you dork.) It is a good start but why stop there?, I am not very fat but then I am not exactly what you may call thin either, I am your king and you'd better do what I say or else I can't be king anymore, I can see it as a humbling and deep time the type of time when the most growth occurs, I don't smoke I don't drink I don't curse. Goddammit! I left my cigarettes at the bar, I felt it in the pits of my fingertips (no explanation for this one either), I find it a distasteful form of cultural imperialism remember, I guess this is what they mean when they say Americans don't have a sense of humour, I have no talent at all so I get to run around and scream and yell and holler, I like to lace my hair with Kool-Aid -- my unsuspecting friends attempt to drink my hair, I never took LSD but my worldview is that of the psychedelic era, I overhear at a bar: "Jeez now people look at you weird if you wear bright colors!", I really enjoy the book but am bothered by the instance of the word "nigger", I select a sound collect the words and put them into my predetermined order, I suppose maturity has a part but I can't really understand that either, I wanted her to know that there was a vast world out there that was bigger and better, I was a lonely youth on desert shores my sports were lonely 'mid continuous roars, "I'm afraid" said the abbot that you don't have much of a career as a bell ringer, I'm apologizing for the United States. This shouldn't happen when you come here, I'm not much of a man by the light of day but by night I'm one hell of a lover, I'm serious she's the coyote date from hell and Zippy went off and married her!, I'm turning 30 this summer and when I look at my life all I see is failure, I've never been worried about what is going to happen to me in the future, If you hit a dog you have to report it. If you hit a cat it doesn't matter, in either case we know that life's more fully lived when we are open to whatever, Indian summer in mid-September. Again we turn on our air-conditioner, instead of my first thought being "I'm such a lowly worm" it's "Whatta pack of losers", Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit is four hours, it doesn't matter what temperature a room is -- it's always room temperature, It is an expansive project that is getting more complex and deeper with each year!, it is both hard to read and hard to put down and it bears rereading like few others, It sells love and apologies. It prostitutes what is supposed to be near and dear, it would be argument for a week laughter for a month and a good jest forever, It's a disaster. And my generation is responsible for this disaster, It's odd how events converge to bring this to mind. All of a sudden it's everywhere, it's the way the words are being used that distinguishes one author from another, it's very easy for a man to whip out his penis and flop it around somewhere, jenerally then the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear, Know what you are? You're a bunch of Artfags! Artfags! Choke on this you dance-a-teria, language is woven into that pattern of human activity and character, love is when you like someone a lot and then you go through a lot of shit together, low fat fiber source great taste no salt naturally cholesterol free no sugar, many dolls and most domesticated animals have neotenous features, marijuana would be an excellent cash crop for the small American farmer, may I become an inexhaustible treasure for those who are destitute and poor, maybe I can get on the Rikki Lake show someday and talk about my new gender, men tend to think about their machines as an extension of their physical power, most people engross themselves in the game and devote lifetimes to piling up counters, Mr. Noodles (a Canadian delicacy) $4.50/box of 24, My girlfriend hates me. My dog just pissed on my foot. My job sucks. I don't have any more, My mother is a women of accomplishment. That is not an idle boast either, mystic patter says the matter's simple: just surrender and follow some mind-bender, never answer a question with an answer that includes the words never or answer, not everything is great but by the same token there's something for everybody here, O God! Where am I to find the strength? Where? O where? At thirty-three a total failure!, oh my sagging gonads aching pulsating sore as shitty left handed screwdrivers, on The Price Is Right because we round off our retail prices to the nearest dollar, on the sidewalk poets bitched about who made Harold Bloom's list and who was passed over, or think of a bulge that rises so high as to be considered a scary danger, or think of a car crashed into a high white and orange concrete post on the corner, or think of a celestial-chic computer synchronized array of six mirrors, or think of a collage of receding centuries having absorbed an idea, or think of a computer translating all the above data into a picture, or think of a cylinder that might be adhered to the inside of a green roller, or think of a gaggle of youths skinny-dipping while players make melodies ashore, or think of a moat filled with green grass lilac and daisies during the warmer summers, or think of a moment of silence grave concentration and devotional rigor, or think of a monastical silence so quiet as to hear nothing but the air, or think of a particular similarity among the primary colors, or think of a point and imagine the reorganization of its dead center, or think of a quiet summer night houndstooth blazer and butterflies in the burgers, or think of a Renaissance courtyard with white-columned porticoes and two loggias, or think of a road through the desert: a ribbon of dead-straight sun-baked shimmering tar, or think of a rose-tinted hilltop and street scene combined with a cathedral's three spires, or think of a situation where we might fancy white as a primary color, or think of a society of desperation. That is not. Not true anymore, or think of a stack of long stringy peacock feathers topped by a large gold-framed mirror, or think of a still life in front of which is placed a blue and white earthenware pitcher, or think of a time when one might say "this is sweet" and another might say "this is sour", or think of a white patch turning redder and a black patch quietly growing whiter, or think of Aborea palms and the soft yellow light of a crystal chandelier, or think of an archway abstract faces in peach yellow pink and other pale colors, or think of an assortment of odd rooms that reveal tapestried portraits and armor, or think of an empty place where anything goes and fully being right where you are, or think of an explosion so large that its prime features are expected to be clear, or think of being far up there unencumbered by clouds pollution and atmosphere, or think of black twisted curls on white tablecloths swollen and ready to be devoured, or think of blue blue moons blue notes Bluebeards bluegrass blue lagoons blue movies and blue hours, or think of blueberry pie sunny duck fried onion rings and a roll made of lobster, or think of boxes held together with tape from which protrude several dangling wires, or think of Christina Olson disabled from childhood gazing up from a pasture, or think of cosmic dark matter that reputably holds the universe together, or think of debt anger mandrill's buttocks prostitution attack the scarlet letter, or think of dozens and dozens of roses that become redder as it grows darker, or think of Dr. Jekyll's evil potion and of Dorothy's ruby red slippers, or think of fireballs which when thrown suddenly revealed the disappearance of water, or think of four dimensional space with its hue range and saturation of colors, or think of fresh mourning in Borneo and carbon monoxide in glass canisters, or think of George's River on one side and horses and cows grazing on the other, or think of glimpsing the city's incomparable neon haze with awestruck wonder, or think of golden arches gimp lace dental plaque dead leaves and custard yellow matter, or think of heated glass which when melted spins into a near perfect parabola, or think of hillsides strewn with garbage and tents beside a creek bed littered with lawn chairs, or think of him clutching his possessions to his breast as he is propelled down river, or think of how a particular perfume may lure one nose and repel another, or think of how birds fly trailing bunches from their beaks. Countless are the ways grapes figure, or think of how candles mysteriously arrived to light acre upon acre, or think of how clear skies might have rendered their rite null and void -- a sort of a rupture, or think of how cold water upswells from below producing cooler temperatures, or think of how ground could be reseeded and grass could be growing in a few weeks there, or think of how islands can gradually reveal violet blue-tinged blush rivers, or think of how poignant two peeling weathered doors in a woodshed off the kitchen are, or think of how three cold people huddled beneath a blanket and sucked marijuana, or think of how troopers roamed the fields reminding the remainders that all was over, or think of it as a notion of their willingness to take any sort of manna, or think of it's axioms in place. Can brain know the world around it and register?, or think of large groups of people riding on raised hands that collide with one another, or think of late afternoon as two women stand talking in gray tracksuits and sneakers, or think of locating a single one among a multiplicity of answers, or think of maples which have gone from bare-branched svelteness to a silhouette that's fuller, or think of masses of people packed into the subway station of Times Square rush hour, or think of not only differences in ranges but differences in structure, or think of one so ravenous for power that the lights of downtown dim and flicker, or think of one who lightly throws off scruples as he tosses back his shock of blond hair, or think of one who might say "I can't imagine what it would be like to see a chair", or think of our long walk to town together in the midst of a torrential downpour, or think of potato wart forbidding skies conjunctivitis and of old paper, or think of purples and oranges. One might dare to say that purple looks hungrier, or think of rain slickers unpopular cats foul curtains and the color of butter, or think of seemingly endless majestic groves of peach plum and apricot arbors, or think of selfish moonless nights reluctant to give much advance notice to others, or think of some small openings that were once used for pouring hot oil on attackers, or think of spectacularly shaped mountains with huge icefields and blue icy glaciers, or think of speed bumps callused feet ugly nicotine deposits on teeth and fingers, or think of subtle variations of the Indian paintbrush that grow in nature, or think of that which can live without demur at every extreme swamp desert tundra, or think of that which does not normally emit the vapor which produces comas, or think of that which existed farther and farther as we grew closer and closer, or think of that which is a month old and not yet the size of a pencil eraser, or think of the crowd's roar for lame versions of masterpieces one after another, or think of the districts rolling racks gridlock traffic gray brownish smog choked atmosphere, or think of the ever-changing light and capricious weather that drew them toward shore, or think of the green spongy holes caused by scraping a sick girl's energy barrier, or think of the mountains on the moon the earth as a ball and this line being straighter, or think of the same old day in and day out humdrum mix of business leisure and war, or think of the second horse of the Apocalypse and necks of country outlaws, or think of the songs of sparrows blackbirds and swallows and the buzzing of cicadas, or think of the synapses encased within a single skull more numerous than stars, or think of the upraised arms of a saguaro cactus and a far ridge sage-colored, or think of the waves that penetrated deeply into the Jovian atmosphere, or think of the yellow orange pink green blue white lavender and velvet that he saw, or think of these statements by no means complete but remaining within parameters, or think of those rightly by their nature and actions who might be considered dead stars, or think of those thrilled to have run away for the weekend from authority figures, or think of thousands of people hauling rain-sodden bedding and wearing mile-long hours, or think of waves that lap gently or crash wildly upon a lighthouse's squat tower, oscillating fin-de-millennium mood of deep euphoria and deep despair, our fragmentation celebrate the oh-so-local to abandon utopias, praise be to you oh piece of shit for sliding out and relieving my tightened sphincter, (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) "But I just steam-cleaned this sofa!", proposed to her that they should produce children by biting off and crunching parts of her, repeated language forms a pattern throughout the work that soon will become familiar, roni a gag a banana bag a tan a tag a banana bag again or, rooting through a dumpster behind a Burger King in search of a half-eaten Whopper, sexism in an alphabet -- teaching program in which the letters are characters, Shall I be dragged down into the narrow limits of your conventional life? Never!, So he cut a small hole in his skull with an electric drill. He never felt better!, some people find fulfillment in the Bible others in a new stereo or car, some say it bounced clean over the moon but whoever says that is a goddamn liar, some stupid schmuck turning around and telling you you have to go faster or slower, someone ruined Sade's "Smooth Operator" for me by singing "grain elevator", take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, teacher preacher story teller poet and a nurse met up in the sea gull cellar, that unquenchable lust that looks always outward for more never glances back to where, the devil's the only one who really gets fatter lead ruptures flesh spleens are shattered, the language of self-alteration is the language of full awareness of others, the long hours of waiting were killed with unceasing conversation and several beers, The many uses for a bar pole or railing are endless. Up under down over, the minnie balls shot and shells rained upon us from every direction except the rear, the minuscule transfer of a given word from one syntactic slot to another, the new development in this business is that Pure has just released a song called Pure, the other one will kiss and suck the offered fingers which will soon again disappear, the pigs shouted "Go to hell you carnivorous imperialistic oppressor!", The Ring as code names for military operations: "Operation Walküre", the undiminishing presence of the 1960's on 1990's culture, the virus unzips it's coat letting long snakes of DNA go "thud" onto the floor, Their jaws ground in mutual mastication. Saliva and sweat. Sweat and saliva, there are always two meanings to everything -- one wider and the other narrower, this equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, this is not the corruption of signifiers but the new religion of culture, To this day we love lying in bed reading romantic poetry to each other, too much time spent talking shop and worrying about "what's coming up" in the future, Tricky couldn't tell Zippies from hippies from Yippies from flippies -- his nose from his rear, Two lunatics walking on the street find a mirror. "Fuck the porridge" said Baby Bear, Under Penalty Of Law This Tag Not To Be Removed Except By The Consumer, unfortunately sometimes we start to drown in this flood of data gasping for air, Vote now for the worst toupee: 1. Sam Donaldson 2. Burt Reynolds 3. Frank Sinatra, we are finding a whole lot of riddles wrapped in mysteries inside of enigmas, we're gonna need an OCEAN of Lysol to remove the stench of bullshit from the store, well I saw it on the Internet so I figured it might be a good idea, What are your worst characteristics? I have none because I'm happy all the time. Ha!, what I heard in his voice was a ragged ambivalence towards desire and power, What's red and chunky and travels in a circle at 190 mph?, when all you've got to look forward to is punishment you stop living in the future, whenever I take a step forward I find that someone else has thought of it before, Whenever you hurt I suffer. You hurt I suffer. I suffer. Oy! Do I suffer!, Why did the homosexual leave home? He didn't like the way he was being reared, Why is it that every schmuck who thinks he can act has got to audition with Shakespeare?, Why should we fear that our children will be less efficient or successful than we are?, wipe the shit eating grins off the mugs of 98% of those upstart pikers, Woman to woman talks I've heard of and even approve. But two women kissing? Ugh!, you actually know which kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper, you are a child of nature no less than the trees and stars -- you have a right to be here, you are right about the last digit and I think I know how you figure the others, you don't have a room you don't have a house but you do have a whole lot of character, you see I've discovered that through serious boozing all of life's troubles disappear;