XIV

A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler, a beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer, a bit of serious trance in the form of usura, a glossy picture of things I had never seen before, a lot of what I have written isn't true anymore, a man is shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years, a number is being recited -- it's a long number, a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car, a rapist a robber a prostitute a crack user, a thing is nothing but the complex of its characters, A 20^th century man. The guy has no future, a wildness whose glance no civilization could endure, admired as such by some reviewers attacked by others, aesthetics as a story of high moral endeavor, Alfred Hitchcock had a dog named Philip of Magnesia, All other decades are "in." Cash in on nostalgia!, Also who was I hoping to impress with this gesture?, always try to do things in chronological order, an Academy-Award-Winning-Actress-of-Color, an agile ambush like apes corralling human bothers, an unctuous substance with a luxurious texture, And his poems I hate his poems! They stink! I can do better!, and I should be allowed to blurt the merest idea, and it's just a box of rain I don't know who put it there, and like saying "Big Bamboo" ten times fast it's a killer, and sounding a lot like the guidance counselor in Heathers, And to think I didn't even have to buy you dinner!, and waited patiently about till Mary did appear, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker, And we're not going to remain silent any longer!, Another Abortion Doctor Killed In Pensacola, anything may happen and it all does go together, aquatic animals of a lower order with pores, Are we gonna keep watching dead bodies over dinner?, arms are so short he has to tilt his head to scratch his ear, as a member of American popular culture, as I go on the lines are becoming harder to draw, as x-pected another x-citing ear x-pander, ask the boy in the ceramic jar before he gets fired, at least the truly stupid are blissfully unaware, at one point I caught two guys pointing at me with a sneer, at the apex of your spirit there is a little door, be assured I'll not call you a sheketz or a shiksa, because he gave more offense people said he was greater, boogie woogie woogie woogie 'till you just can't boogie no more, books are timebombs that explode when opened in the future, Booze-o-Vision as America's new Art Populaire, borrow positive feelings from your successful future, both of the above being in C eh N eh D eh, bring me your puny handful of sperm on a blue platter, Buddha Moses Jesus Mohammed Krishna and Rama, burning midnight crosses jarred peace of mind on your front yard, but by this point I am too lost in my own food to care, But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger, but the real curiosity here are the two covers:, but this one little boy had gotten an old enema, but unless we go to extremes we won't get anywhere, by stuffing their cock-holders with proxies for stockholders, Can you spare some change so I can get something to eat sir?, champagne : taste as wallet : Coca-Cola, Cheryl's Biennial article in Harper's Bazaar, Clinton To Scale Down Program To Oust Iraqi Leader, CM-PX used to be down but is not anymore, Collect all 14,052 action figures!, constrain me to do something I never thought of before, Cool Site of the Day nothing! Where's my Cool Site of the Hour?, cracked black chair held together by bands of duct tape silver, critter I was molested by this CUTE babysitter, Daddy's money brings -- he's a loser and a bum -- Hitler's, David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar, dehydrated water with instructions "just add water", Describe yourself in five words. A straight up mother-fucker, despite my illusion that I was a total loner, digg'n in my heart I find a human generator, Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?, Do you have a problem opening the milk container?, don't put a head on top of the head that's already there, don't sleep or you'll find me gone just an image in the air, Don't you get that destroying the man doesn't work either?, doomed to live out its shelf-life as a permanent fixture, eating bags of money with an almost obscene gesture, empty wine bottle cold as Hoboken in November, (entries are deleted after 30 more are entered), eventually I began to look for another, except that I know that I want to make my meaning clear, Excuse us while we slip into something more ooh-la-la!, exposing oneself while hiding inside a character, far above the helix itself twisted and coiled over, Fierce! A stay up all night emotional rollercoaster!, 15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper, fifty of the sixteenth and seventeenth hundreds of years, finally stopped Grandma from sliding down the bannister, finding out what a "took" (rhymes with "Luke") is and why you wear, follow-up with "silent-but-deadlies" and "pull my finger", for they're still feeling the effects of that parsley of yours, freakin' hate it when the end of the joint burns your fingers, Frequent heartburn. Isn't it time you talked to your doctor?, from "desire": desirable admirable from "admire", from stinky litterboxes to feline leukemia, functioning less from the ego and more from the center, Gawd it's way too early to be in an elevator!, go over to Alix's tonight to watch the Oscars, good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor, Gripes (p.242 of 304), had one hundred eyes and what was done with these eyes after, had probably not heard such sincere words for many years, hardcore heads still wear boots in the searing heat of summer, harrowing teeters on the precipice of dementia, he added "Today Los Angeles has turned the corner", he and I were as much alike as two drops of water, he first thought of space -- vast blue and extending everywhere, he may not be a great actor but he will be a star, he spent his 33^rd year no esta intercoursa, he started making these ugly threats about my daughter, he was goin aah ha ha ha ha buh buh buh buh buh, he was raised as my brother and married my wife's sister, He would fain taste sugar instead of becoming sugar!, Hello Alice ... what's the matter? Are you in chains? :)(Haw haw!!), her legs outstretched shimmering with the last shocks of pleasure, here and now you're an overeating cellulite monster, here is a list in case you ever see any others:, Hey you know what they say if it bleeds it can be butchered!, ("Hideous Q-Tip") beautiful (echo "ugly") sister, his fingers so many explanation points in the air, hon you've got to push this boob up to make it stick out more, honesty a sense of humor and a big hot member, Hoops Hunk Shaquille Tells TV Beauty Holly: It's Over, How do you get 10 dead babies into a Tupperware?, How do you know if a woman is wearing underwear?, how fabulous to be making history together, Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof Aiulella!, I always longed for the Norman Rockwellian father, I became a vegetarian at age 24, I can't believe that this hasn't occurred to me before, I can't help you anymore you can't hurt me anymore, I could have been on the moon. I could have been anywhere, I coulda been your father but the dog beat me upstairs, I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla, I do not want to be a woman all the time either, I don't know the meaning of apathy and I don't care!, I don't feel like singing -- not without Fräulein Maria, I filleted a bulimic belligerent purger, I got a call through a telephone tree to attend her, I haven't told her yet but I am going to tell her, I hope I don't get confused with Camille Paglia here, I just don't know what there is to care about anymore, I just want to curl up in a cave and sleep all winter, i loved who you are i think before i loved who you were, I might be a slut and a whore but I'm not a liar!, I really didn't want to go so I didn't bother, I over romanticized people when I was younger, I should think of something else than what's between my fingers, I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker, I think this is getting tired. Level it and start over, I vote for poetry ... it will last longer than flowers, I was fifteen when I got turned on to marijuana, I went around with a bucket and plucked all my plants bare, I will be drooling over images of Ron Silver, I wish I had one ounce the compassion of my father, I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others, I'm a smoker I'm a joker I'm a midnight toker, I'm afraid that the winter has laid hold on your fingers, I'm not alone in fashion dork girl world. None of us are, I'm not trying to be noticed but I won't be ignored, I'm only 108 pounds but I'm full-figured, I'm so amazed that people can do that to each other, I'm so sick of Dennis Hopper being Dennis Hopper, I've been accumulating shit for just about 10 years, I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me rich is better, I've never written a letter to any food before, I've often thought about reading books cover to cover, if he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered, if I had only been born twenty-five years earlier, if it's not challenging it might as well be wallpaper, if people were really religious dogs would have owners, if they read at all it is GQ or Vanity Fair, --------- if you cut here you'll probably destroy your monitor ----------, if you don't know about drug programs in your area, if your grandmother had a beard she'd be your grandfather, ill-bred children are always displaying their pest manners, in addition to creating new oysters or spiders, in any case I don't see what which has to do with where, in deep shit already and ready to go in "deeper", in the actual use of expressions we make detours, in the service of ideological agenda, instead of jumping from one conclusion to another, Interviewer: What do you call that hairstyle? George: Arthur, invest in real estate -- they're not making it anymore, Iraqi forces go on alert at Iran border, Is getting there faster always the best way to get there?, Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?, it is finally time for some cerebral adventures, It makes you wonder doesn't it? Just how normal we are, it meant a lot of breaks pretzels and Domino's pizzas, it might be a woolsey expander fawning lackluster, it was a man who had never seen a woman before, it's going to make you feel like you've never felt before, it's hard having a crack-head as a family member, it's just how things are going -- getting smaller and cuter, it's only another arrangement of that which you are, it's time to break through the myth of scarcity -- it's over, jokes in the mirror may be funnier than they appear, Juanita es una muchacha Americana, just over 100 pounds has long legs and flowing hair, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Kato what is going on in that little brain of yours?, Kinda like Suzy Kwan eh? Kinda like Fu Manchu eh?, knowledge knowledge is power power is danger danger, ladies are requested not to have children in the bar, language is free -- a collection is easily acquired, liar liar liar you're a liar liar liar, life is a fleeting thing that you have no control over, life is much merrier with a Jack Russell terrier, like bubbles blowing and slowly sticking to each other, like that ex you can call for sex when you're at your lower, listening to the same opera over and over, Love of Summer soon tweaked it's way into Hate of Winter, love which comes from a sense of at-one-ness with whatever, lovers of the color blue are wonderful sex partners, make it easier for cops to squeal on one another, makes the hair whiter because he's trying to be grayer, Mama stroked his dinger Daddy got a stinky finger, March started off with the bombing of The World Trade Center, marginals and mutants began to fill up those fissures, Mary had a little watch she kept it in her garter, maybe more attention should be paid to the dark side here, maybe someone who has an ego bigger than their hair, maybe they'd value it more if they knew it was worth more, Miles Davis's "Bitches Brew" wailing on the speakers, monolithic vertical structure to which all cowered, more job advertising than any other newspaper, morning trippers sat dazed and confused around huge bonfires, my baloney has a first name it's O-S-C-A-R, my greatest joy is a quiet nap my only desire, my ideas aren't flowing like when I was younger, my soul is a circle whose circumference is nowhere, mystic journeyman and biohazard plus wax blender, nagged by an emptiness of not belonging anywhere, never fails to elicit compliments and cash offers, never saw so many saws as I saw in Arkansas, no I have a wife and frankly real sex is far better, no one could stop laughing at me with a turkey baster, no supreme fiction will bring all the fragments together, noisy music from the unemployed foreigners next door, nothing better to do than emulate table decor, nothing defines us the way rock 'n' roll did the Boomers, on the day that you were born the angels got together, one presupposes the other and explains the other, one time we put detergent in their family's sprinklers, one was a dictator the other is a dick-toter, opacity of language opacity of color, out of the hot thin air between his cupped hand and his ear, parking restricted to 60 minutes in any hour, Pay attention! Pay attention! Pay attention! Right here!, pay for all the software you've pirated over the years, people who need people are pathetic muthafuckers, People who piss here are self-absorbed fascists. Piss upstairs!, Perique Turkish Virginia Burley Latakia, personalities are more important than agendas, pick your poison and be prepared to be taken over, playing horizontal "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker, please do not send me any more of your literature, practice tubing and enough cleaner for ten urethras, present your entire talk in iambic pentameter, purple perpendicular speak to whoever is there, quintessential loner and perpetual outsider, quite a lot to achieve in one little wisp of a bra, reading begins when the eye receives the words as pictures, render therefore unto Cæsar the things which are Cæsar's, Roy Cohn fist fucking Jean Genet in the judges chamber, Save-a-hoe had better strap on his cape the shot calla, seven years after the explosion of the Challenger, she opened up the pearly gates and bared the pelvic floor, she rolls her own tampons and kickstarts her own vibrator, she says if I'm good she'll give me the other one next year, show as much as you can then leave the boys panting for more, simultaneous ejaculation by two or more, sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china, so he huffed and he puffed and he blew down the house of straw, so we went sappy and decided on a heart transfer, So you see we don't understand what we're saying either!, so you shave a cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there, some loser who can't tell twisted pair from Twisted Sister, some tropical fish and checkered polyester trousers, some will wonder just as much about the cause of thunder, some women care more about the compact than the powder, sorry just switching to Philip Glass and Ravi Shankar, steel tool eisteddfod described in English literature, straightness seems to be implied by the notion "linear", stray catalog or Chinese menu stuffed under the door, stuck together by the sweet and sticky text characters, such a goy my son-in-law he'd eat pork on Yom Kippur, suddenly so many questions coming from everywhere, suspect as an English professor passing on tenure, take your best shot because in my dreams I am your father, Talk about pathetic! It's a Saturday night and I'm here, targets the specific concerns of the eye area, teach your parents again how to program their VCR, terror invited repression which provoked more terror, that is no continuity going on forever, that's a new one on me -- constipated in India, That's right sir. Could I have your daytime telephone number?, the bear asks the rabbit: "Does shit ever stick to your fur?", the best long distance service is about to get better, the closest he could get to saying her name was "buh-juh", the creatures imagine themselves to be the creators, the disturbance of the water caused by a propeller, the filling is free to squeeze out all over your fingers, the first question they asked us important than agendas, the freedom of frolicking in a bath of brown water, the future defined as "as soon as I get a scanner", the future will come and it's gonna be a lot bleaker, the homogenization of American culture, the ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays "Helter Skelter", the litany is growing tedious and seems better, the more you are "nice" the more you accumulate anger, the Narcissus generation enters the opera, the neighborhood kids refer to him as a "rock wilder", the pathetic Bundys and their yuppie-bourgeois neighbors, the road to the cemetery is paved with sufferers, the sections will continue to differ in their nature, the show today is about pathological liars, The show was totally cool. There were pickles everywhere, the spirit rides an individual on the shoulders, The War The War The War The War. What happened in the War?, The world becomes source material. Take what is required, The world is boring and we are the kings and queens of bore, the worst example of the Dean Martin inheritors, their behavior improved so their parents bought them a car, Theophilus Thistle the successful thistle sifter, "There are people who say it's crazy" he said. "I wonder...", there is no reason why you or your loved ones should suffer, there is no result that is special or particular, there was a hand there a leg there and a foot over there, thereby diminishes his love and increases his fear, they just don't make good roles like this for women anymore, they picked up his diarrhea with shreds of newspaper, they take the honey and the dough and put it together, they're not fun to do when you have sore ankles that's for sure, think about it for a minute and give me an answer, this attempt at a novel is a gimmicky failure, this is the way we scrub the floor scrub the floor scrub the floor, (This message brought to you by your local dairy farmers), this novel sprawls and meanders just like its characters, this week's lecture: underwater life by Peter Fisher, This will be the suicide of my "career." What career?, those who tortured started wars promised glory turned out whores, though common people have no great insight into virtue, three escaped lunatics have been spotted in blah blah blah, three smart fellows all felt smart they all felt smart together, time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin' into the future, took my twenty dollar bills and he vanished in the air, touch the things that everyone else is just too damn short for, tour but our and succor four gas alas and Arkansas, traffic tickets black eyes cut-off penises and world wars, twenty five years ago today a river caught on fire, Up to your eyeballs in plaster! And not even plastered!, urban guerilla warfare aimed at the power structure, urges deep in the ululations of the retina, use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa, uses thumbtacks to post notes on his refrigerator, Vanilla Buttshake BibliRef and Research plus fodder, walk down to the highway and throw bottles at police cars, Watch them soap. Watch them shower. Watch their budding blooms flower, watching Mommy get slapped around or stuffed into a car, we ask this of the conventional theatergoer, we don't want to be brainwashed by our own propaganda, we got mad responses and even some correct answers, we have a couple of different types of liars here, we have been looking at every possible angle here, we live at a time in which "modern" no longer makes clear, we went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers, we'd still be dumping our old motor oil in the sewers, we're gonna die and I'm wearing my mother's underwear, we're housebroken don't eat much and change our own newspapers, we've both lately become obsessive calorie-counters, we've made high heels that are as comfortable as sneakers, well East Coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear, well into her cigarette perhaps her 10^th in two hours, were three people thirty and older getting together, What could it be? Maybe my teeth were not the right color, What great advantage has the foamer over the lather?, What great advantage has the former over the latter?, What great advantage has the latter over the former?, What is the number to the nearest 100 of hairs?, What is worse than running a baby over with a car?, What's the trick? You won't find it by deconstructing Flaubert, when I came across the Playtex Thank Goodness It Fits bra, when I hear the word culture I reach for my revolver, when subjected to extreme feminine heat and pressure, when the cause disappears the effect also disappears, Where did we all learn to think in the exact same manner?, who watched Mary Tyler Moore reruns and wept for Rhoda, whoever can snort an entire jar of peanut butter, Why do Jewish people have such big noses? Because air, Why is there a big fucking hole in the ozone layer?, Why not spend more time in the nude mall of America?, wild mood swings hostility or abusive behavior, Will you miss that nerve-rattling ride to LaGuardia? Naaaaaaah, with his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer, within an hour he had drained a huge chrome bowl of water, women are used to sell cars glasses bottles of water, women wear make-up to bed and wake up with facial hair, women will always ask questions that have no right answer, Would you describe yourself as a thinker or a stinker?, write your account number on your check or money order, x slash sk8 'net heads slash edge-culture slash slashers, yelling at cabdrivers in English wastes your time and theirs, "Yes!" (that is "Yes I'm doing it either now or later"), you are largely unconscious and stuck in worldly pleasures, you be doing nose candy on the Bowie coke mirror, you can get a strapped shoplifter in my brandy snifter, you do not need that poppy from Mesopotamia, you squeeze more out of an hour than your peers do in a year, You think you're getting that new skin disease? I think you are, You're an oxymoron? Never seen a live one before, you're welcome to call me a misogynist -- I don't care, you're not the easiest person in the world to shop for, you're right about that butter -- it's not bubbling anymore, you're washing the same clothes over and over and over, your cocksure allure will not endure this expenditure, your expansive thinking concerning the "gray areas", your salad's gonna be wearing more dressing than you are, Your time is up. Leave now or we will force you from power;